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To   Stern   Critics 


HERE'S  to  stern  Critics! 

May  they  some  day  learn 
The  forward  lookout's 

Better  than  the  stern! 


Here's  to  her  shadow! 
May  it  mark  the  hours 


Upon  the  sundial  of  her  life- 
in  flowers! 


HAPPY  DAYS 


BY 


OLIVER  HERFORD 


AND 

JOHN  CECIL  CLAY 


Ml 


NEW  YORK 
MITCHELL    KENNERLEY 


COPYRIGHT,       IQiy,      BY 
MITCHELL     KENNERLEY 


THE-PLIMPTON-PRKSS 
N  O  R  VV  O  O  1)  •   M  A  S  S  •   U-S-A 


CONTENTS 

PACE 

To  STERN  CRITICS  3 

To  HER  SHADOW  4 

To  FASHION  9 

To  THE  TYPEWRITER  n 

THE  FLOOR  12 

To  Music  15 

To  THE   PUBLISHER  17 

HERE'S  LOOKING  19 

THE  DOVE  OF  PEACE  21 

To  THE  CLOCK  23 

To  HOPE  25 

To  LIBERTY  27 

STAIRS:  A  TOAST  29 

To  LADY  NICOTINE  31 

OH,  EDITOR,  EDITOR!  33 

To  THE  CREDITOR  35 

To  NEPTUNE  37 

To  THE  WAITER  39 

To  TEMPTATION  41 
To  THE  MAID  WITH  FANCY  FREE            43 

To  OUR  SWEETHEARTS  45 

To  OUR  READERS  46 

RS4719 


FASHION!  Lovely  Dame! 
Pledge  in  sparkling  wine  ! 
Let  us  add  her  name 
To  the  Muses   nine  I 

THOUGH  the  lovely  Nin 
All  should  'pass  away 
Why  should  l¥oman  pine^ 
If  but  Fashion  stay  ? 


THO'  the  Muses'  lore 
Molder  on  the  shelf. 
Still  may  She  adore 

In  Fashion  s  glass — Herself. 


To 

The   ^Typewriter 

HERE'S  to  the  Typewriter! 

Health  to  her  type! 
Whether  blond  or  brunette 

Or  budding  or  ripe. 
If  she  be  the  right  type 

Be  she  buxom  or  slight, 
When  she  doesn't  type  wrong 

She  is  sure  to  typewrite. 


THE   FLOOR 

TTERE'S  to  the  floor, 

Our  best  friend  of  all, 
Who  sticks  to  us  close 

In  the  time  of  our  fall. 
When  benches  are  fickle 

And  tables  betray 
And  rugs  are  revolving, 

He  meets  us  half-way. 
Our  stay  and  support, 

When  we  can't  stand  alone, 


With  the  floor  for  a  backer, 

We'll  never  be  thrown. 
Here's  to  our  friend, 

In  life's  every  stage! 
Dry  nurse  of  infancy, 

Wet  nurse  of  age! 
A  health  to  our  floor! 

Supporter  and  stay; 
Though  he  often  be  full, 

May  he  never  give  way! 


HERE'S  to  Music, 

Joy  of  joys! 
One  man's  music's 

Another  man's  noise. 


THE  Publisher!— Drink! 
Let  his  virtue  be  shown 
In  the  Good  Works  of  others 
If  not  in  his  own. 


TO 
THE  PUBLISHER 


HERE'S   looking 
at  you,   dear  / 

though  I  should  pour 
A  sea   of  wine, 
my   eyes   would 
thirst  for  more. 


..-X 


c^ 


^s<^^ 


TJERE'S  to  the  Dove  of  Peace! 

May  she  find  a  mate  some  day, 
And  may  her  tribe  increase 
As  fast  as  she  can  lay  ! 


cooing  doves  galore 
Then  may  the   sky   be  dark 
Until  the  Dogs  of  War- 
Cant  see  each  other  bark! 


o 


TO 
THE    CLOCK 


HERE'S  to  Hope, 

the  child  of  Care, 
And  pretty  sister 

of  Despair  ! 
Here  s  hoping  that 

Hope  s  children  shan  t 
Take  after 

their  Grandma 
or  Aunt ! 


\ 


To  LIBERTY 


HERE'S  to  our  Goddess,  Liberty, 
Idol  of  bronze  and  stone! 

May  she  awake  to  life  some  day 
And  let  her  charms  be  known 


V 


* 


HERE'S  to  the  man  who 

invented  stairs 
And  taught  our  feet 

to  soar! 
He  was  the  first  who 

ever  burst 
Into  a  second  floor. 

The   world  would  be 

downstairs  to-day 
Had  he  not  found 

the  key ; 

So  let  his  name  go 
down  to  fame, 
Whatever  it  may   be. 


siij 


To 

OUR    LADY    NICOTINE 

HERE'S  to  Lady  Nicotine! 
Saint  and  Sorceress 

and  Queen  ! 
Saint,  whose  purple 

halo  rings 
Lift  our  eyes  from 

earthly  things ; 
Witch,  whose  wand  of 

scented  briar 
Transmutes  dead  weeds 

to  fragrant  fire ; 

£>ueen,  whose  rod  her  slaves  adore! 
What  can  freedom  ojfer  more? 


OH,  EDITOR,  EDITOR, 
Awful  and  grand, 
Who  holdest  our  fate 

In  the  palm  of  thy  hand, 
Dost  ever  reflect 

How  one  day  thy  ghost 
To  an  Editor  awfler 

And  grander  will  post  ? 
Before  him  a  great 

Golden  scroll  is  spread  wide, 
And  a  bottomless  waste-basket 

Yawns  at  his  side. 
With  a  sivift  searching  glance 

He  reads  through  thy  souly 
Then  he  looks  at  the  basket , 

Then  looks  at  the  scroll; 
He  purses  his  lips 

And  nibbles  his  pen, 
And  frowns  for  one  long 

Awful  moment — and  then — 
Ob,  Editor! — think!  if  thy 

Poor  crumpled  soul 
Fall  into  the  basket 

And  not  in  the  scroll! 


The   Creditor 

HERE'S  to  the  Creditor, 

Long  may  he  reign! 
May  his  Faith  never  waver, 

His  Trust  never  wane. 
May  the  Lord  make  him  gentle 

And  gracious  and  gay, 
Yet  quick  to  resent 

The  least  offer  of  pay : 
May  he  soften  his  heart 

As  he  softened,  we're  told, 
To  the  Israelite's  'touch,' 

The  Egyptian  of  old; 
And  when  on  his  last 

Long  account  he  shall  look, 
The  angel  will  say 

As  he  closes  the  book : 
"The  Lord  gives  you  Credit 

For  Credit  you  gave"  ! 
So  here's  to  the  Creditor — 

Long  may  he  waive. 


To 

NEPTUNE 


wave 
Ocean 
behave, 


makes 
Come  Jill  up  you 


WHETHER  sober  or  rough, 

He's  always  a  sport, 
And  well  never  stop  toasting  him 

Till  we're  in  port. 
A  jolly  old  salt, 

though  he  smile  or  he  frown. 
So  here '  s  to  King  Neptune! 

Fill  up!     Drink  her  down! 


x  7 


DRINK  your  Aea/tA,  O  Waiter ' 
And  may  you  be  preserved 
From  old  age,  gout,  or  sudden  death! — 
At  least  till  supper  s  served. 


TO 

THE    WAITER 


temptation  f 
Give  us  strength 

and  grace 
Against  her 

witching 
To  set  our  face! 


HERE'S  to  the  maid 
with  Fancy  Free; 
If  Cupid" s 
necromancy 
Imprison  not 
her  heart,  maybe, 
It  will  arrest 
her  Fancy. 


, 

di  -a  i ; 

V' 


To  our  Sweethearts 

and  Wives, 
T'he  joy  of  our 

lives  ! 
May  our  Wives  be 

our  Sweethearts — 

Our  Sweethearts, 

our  Wives. 


To   Our  Readers 

HERE'S  to  our  Readers,   Health! 

good  Looks! 
And  Joy  ad  infinitum 
And  may   they  live  to  read 
our  Books 
As  long  as  we  may  write  'em, 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


OCT    18  19*7 


27Jan'5CAiyl 


23FebDEAn 


LD  21-100m-12,'46(A2012sl6)4120 


FOURTEEN  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 


This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 
on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 

>5Jun'56CT 

MY*  P1956  LU 

—  WBRARY  USE 

FZJ2    1957 

SJ&A'*      '  * 

*r^r~s~>Tr-\   •   Q 

REC  U    L.U 

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